Hotel des Trois Salopes
Hotel des Trois Salopes. (Inn of the Three Bitches). Surly service isn’t just the rule at this Left Bank wonder hole, it’s the main attraction. You’ll be greeted with a glare and a growl from one of the three La Hore sisters, each of whom is convinced she’s the biggest bitch of the three, before another of them deigns to check you in. Each of the 9 rooms and broom closets that pass for them is thoughtlessly appointed with middle bitch Beatrice’s colored chalk renditions of famous bitches from history, starting with Madame de Pompadour right on down to Leona Helmsley and Hugo Chavez. (Charcoal sketches of Marie-Antoinette and Barbara Bush are in store for 2010.) In reverse homage to the Westin Heavenly Bed, guests here are free to choose from two kinds of mattresses: lumpy-stained and lumpy-bedbug. If the sheets need cleaning, just ask one of the bitches at the front desk for directions to the nearest riverbank. Reservations accepted, reluctantly. 96 Blvd. du Cauchemar. Phone: are you kidding? Metro: on strike.
